Lost in Aluderant Asch
by Story Weaver1
Summary: Abyss Jade has a little fun with his companions while they are traveling to Belkend. Spoilers untill Yulia City


**Spoilers untill you reach Yulia City for the first time **

I got lost on the way to Belkend and this occured to me as a skit.

" Honestly Asch, you navaigational skills are as bad as Luke's." Came Jade's obnixious voice.

" How dare you compare me to that dreck! I'm much better then that replica!" Asch shouted back.

The Tartarus was traveling the high seas on a voyage to the City of Fonmachines Belkend. Asch was at the Helm steering the ship. His face a mask of frustration as they had been to every port except the one leading to the City of Fonmachines. Jade was standing close by, his smug smile told everyone he was enjoying Asch's frustration entirely too much. Natalia was seated next to Asch and gazing at him adoringly while Guy was leaning against the back wall with his eyes closed. Anise was also starring at Asch but unlike Natalia she had money signs in her eyes instead of hearts. Ion just sighed at his guardian's behavior.

" Then explain how we ended up in Baticul when we were going to Belkend?" The Necromancer's eyes danced with mirth. Asch turned away, red in the face.

"Shut up." Natalia put a hand on Asch's shoulder and glared at Jade. " Asch knows where he's going!"

" Then would you mind to answer the question?" Jade challenged. Natalia looked away for a momment as if searching for an answer.

"...Asch must have thought I'd be homesick. He's such a sweetie." Natalia said dreamily. Said sweetie fought down a blush.

" See! Natalia has faith in me!" he said with his face turned away from Jade.

" That's because she's a toal Asch fangirl!" Anise taunted. Natalia's face turned as red as Asch's hair but she mantained her regal bearing with a rise of her chin.

" I'm merely showing support for my fiance." She said matter of factly.

" You're engaged to Luke." Anise said snidely.

" Asch is the REAL Luke!" Natalia retorted. Guy opened his eyes.

" Luke is the real Luke." He said firmly.

" You're just a Luke fanboy!" Natalia said, still regal. Guy did a double take.

" No I'm not! I like Luke but not THAT way! I prefer women!" he declared. Natalia smirked evilly at him and took two steps toward him, Guy took two steps back. Natalia was extremly smug.

" I rest my case." Jade chuckled merrily.

" You youngsters are so entertaning." Asch growled.

" Don't have something better to do old timer? Like wash your fake teeth?" He snarled.

" Yes your quite right." Jade reached into his mouth and pulled out a set of fake teeth leaving his mouth full of nothing but gums " Wanna help?" Asch jumped back and let go of the controls on the Tartarus and it crashed into a mountain. This caused a number of things to happen: Anise fell into Guy making him jump a full 10 feet in the air and bang his head on the ceiling. Natalia to fall backwards and Ion falling across her chest, making him blush furisouly, Natalia to sreech that the Fon Master was a prevert and Asch to draw his sword halfway out with bloodlust in his eyes. Jade broke out into laughter, he laughed so hard he had to clutch his sides and dropped his fake teeth. They vanished on contact with the floor and everyone saw Jade still had teeth in his mouth. Everyone's mouth dropped. Asch grabbed a still laughing Jade's collar.

" You said you had fake teeth!" The god general shouted.

" They were an illusion and therefore are fake." Jade replied when he had calmed down. " Now I suggest you get the Tartarus moving again before the mountain falls on us." Everyone spun toward the window and saw that the collision with the mountain was causing it to collapse. Asch bolted to the controls and got the Tartarus in reverse before the avalanche crushed it. Everyone sighed and Natalia glomped Asch.

" Asch, you saved us!" She squeeled.

" He caused the collaspe in the first place Fangirl!" Anise shouted.

" It was Jade's fault, you little brat!" Natalia shouted back.

" Dense arrogant snob!"

" Two faced money grubbing brat!"

They glared at each other and lightening sparked between their eyes.

" Ladies pull your claws back in, there's no need to fight." Guy tried to pacify them but backed off when they turned their glares on him. Natalia pulled out her bow and Anise activated Tokunaga. Ion stepped between and raised his hands against both of them.

" Natalia, Anise is guardian and emissary, attacking her is equivlant to attacking me, the Fon Master, which would cause a international crisis between Kimlassica and Daath. Do you want that?" The Princess lowered her bow and her head. Ion turned his head to Anise. "Anise you are my guardian correct?" Anise nodded. " Then do as I command and leave Natalia alone." Anise shrunk Tokunaga and kicked the floor.

" Aw pwee!"

" Well I'm glad we have that settled. Shall we move on? I believe Asch has finally found Belkend." Asch silently glared daggers at the Colonel. Guy stared incredulously at Jade.

" You're ubelieveable."

Inspiration for this fic is brought to me by Griffinkhan's wonderfull TotA stories. Now go read them! After you review of course!


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